Summer holiday guilt

I just need to send this out into nowhere. Hoping it will clear my heart and head; that I can then get over the guilt and move on.

 

I’m nearly at the end of a week off work for the summer holidays. Now the holidays are 6 weeks long so I feel kind of a failure. And to top it off, I failed at arranging a single play date for my 6 year old. I will admit I was starting to worry…. Is he not liked, do the other children just not want to play with him.

Now obviously I can’t just ask a parent out right, as no parent wants to tell another that their kid doesn’t want to play. I’ve found there are two reasons for this- 1 Kids are fickle. One day they act like they have never met each other and the next are best friends. 2 What if one day that is their child, or what if said child has a party, and then their kid isn’t invited. Believe me, after standing in a playground listening to conversations, some parents actually think like this. I will admit to then clocking which is their child and make a note to see if they are as calculating as the parent!

 

Should I be worried, I doubt it! I think it just self flagellation to the mummy guilt of crappy parenting. I left it kind of late to arrange, and once you ask one parent, you need to wait for a response before inviting another child. Which led to a reply on Wednesday for plans on Thursday & Friday. Turns out most of his school friends are on holiday or too short notice!

He was invited to 1 play date this week and turns out that she had problems with people responding, being busy and in one case, just forgetting. But this still didn’t ease my guilt, made worse by me sending him to the parentals for a night so we, i.e me hubby and friends can go bowling. I will point out that his Grampy is his hero and apart from daddy, is his favourite person. This still doesn’t assuage my mummy guilt

So I have done my best to keep him happy and entertained this week. But have I just made a rod for my own back. Now every school holiday he will expect 2 activities a day and constant entertaining!

So now I find myself planning ridiculous things in my head and thanks to Pinterest, for the next half term!

 

Will we ever learn and let kids just be bored?

 

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From housemate to reconnecting

My partner is more like my housemate. We share the same space, we talk only about our child, the programs we watch together and any upcoming plans we have. That is the usual sum total of our interactions.

But over the weekend something happened. We reconnected.

It was strange and it was amazing.

This is what happened:

Our little man wanted to play a game. It was houses/mummies and daddies. He became the dad and we (big man and I) became his children, Annabel and Isaac. It was a normal day. He woke us up, got us ready for school and then herded us into the car. I decided I was going to play up. Be impossible. Basically become my son! Awkward in the mornings just like he is ::I’m laughing as I write this because it was funny:: My little man was starting to get very frustrated with me and sulked off at this point because I wasn’t playing properly. Big man decided to play along as I was. We started to play fight and wind each other up. As siblings do.

Now our little man is livid with us and all we could do was roll around his bedroom laughing. I can not remember the last time we both laughed out loud together that wasn’t from watching the telly. And lets be honest we weren’t laughing together. We just happened to be sitting next to each other.

That was all it took! A truly shared experience, both being present in that moment.

We did eventually play how the little man wanted us to but it was enough for us connect.

For the rest of the weekend we laughed, touched and looked at each other. Enjoyed each others company.

I hope everyone had their own moment over the weekend. How ever it happened or with whoever, hold on to it for as long as you can.

These moments are fleeting. We need to work to keep it going.